Carl the Sage Betta

From within the murky bowl
the betta winks
you thought you had it going on, babe
and he's such an asshole
because i thought i did

because i slipped out of the noose and thought i'd
just walk away
rubbing the chafe marks on my neck
with lavender oil
and roses

because i thought it would all just die when it fell off
not writhe there on the ground
mocking me and trying to make me trip and
feel humble
inadequate
wretched
lonely
desperate

and that asshole fish just keeps going
why don't you just cry
you know you want to
but i don't
because i thought i was dessicated
from wrung out damp rag to
cool serene ethereal sparkling magic pretty everybody-loves-me

i walked away from the crash
not a fucking scratch!
you can't see a goddam bruise!
but it's there it's there, he says -that fucker-
under your shirt it's there
and it's a big one
and sure enough there it is
big one
red purple and black
really hurts
so don't poke it

because i thought it was going to dissolve
or rot
or turn into dust
but it's here with me
here with me
clinging cellophane bullshit
fuck!


but i'm the belle of the fucking ball!