Yoga Wants Me!

I am tottering on the path
of spiritual enlightenment
-unsteady from the coupla-three martinis-
somehow I missed the Buddha
maybe I passed out and he
stepped over my drunken ass
as he strolled blithely towards
Nirvana

I am holding my head
it's still throbbing from the margs
last night
that I consumed in an effort to commune
with a goddess
because I needed to feel that earth mother vibe
as if the sagging tits and stretch marks don't already give me
that distinction

The sharp smelling vines of Gaia grow up and over me
tangle my feet
their Druidian persuasiveness sends their tendrils
and shoots up my leg and that just made me think of my varicose veins

I propelled myself towards Shiva's myriad of
loving arms
but I stumbled out of half-moon before I could see the light
-I think it was the beers I had at 9:30 this morning-
and I skinned my fucking knee on the way down
I'm going to sit here on my ass and deflect the bad fucking chi with my
Chanel knock-off

So lets have a toast, a popular toast that we can all really get behind--
Namaste!!